Gaydar
Part 3
... ....
He was there lying on the bed. Inert. Rolled into a ball, protecting
What? She did not know how long
How long had passed
She did not know
It felt like the wait has always
At first he had up to feed her, let her out in the garden
Then gradually it had been more important
It closed over the glass door leading to garden and let the entire packet of biscuits to open the floor
She was worried. Not for her. She could not survive. She worried for him
She had tried to respond. Barking, whining, growling. Nothing. Inert
His master remained inert
... ....
A noise
A key in a lock
A barking
A young man, tall, ebony hair, black eyes
The little dog went
She recognized the smell
She yelped with joy. The man stroked gently, observing the space around him
The patio door was open, tucking a fresh breeze in the apartment
He frowned
A packet of dry flat ; ashore. He knew the owner. He knew his love for small animals. Her little dog had her baby. Something was really wrong
He knew
3 days 3 days he had not shown the agency
Do not respond to phone
open to nobody
He knew something was wrong but he had perhaps not measure the severity of the situation
Ran on his heels, he walked in apartment
Corpses of beer, bottles of corpses, corpses of cigarettes
No traces of food
Nothing
Panic
He rushed into the various parts seeking
It found him
Peaceful
Asleep
Relief
He observed the body in sleep
Even disheveled, even weakened, even as pale, he was magnificent
He had hoped ; break even if it was not what he wanted
He may be able
Maybe he had no right to be there
Maybe he should disappear
Maybe he should leave him alone
But the leak was no longer an option. Maybe it was a mistake. Surely. But he could not let
It was repaired
It was repaired for him, for himself, for them
strength he had won, the certainty that inhabited
All this does not waver
The other showed him, had saved
It would save him turn
It would give him what he was They were not
quits
It would help
No more pretense, no more masks, drop curtains
was for him to play
In view of the movements of the other, the party was going to start
And he was on it would be tight
... ....
How long he was there
He did not know. 3 days, 4, maybe more
Ran. His poor dog
He had abandoned. He heard yet
But he felt so depressed, so tired
He wanted to sleep. He wanted to sink no more suffering, to forget, to forget what he did ....
But he heard a buzzing since earlier
The buzz
What was that?
- Ran?
A noise. A voice
- Not quite
... ....
He had straightened
A real devil out of his box
A devil scared, surprised, panicked
His gaze was so lost. It was nothing like the one he knew
The glow was gone
assurance, strength, certainty
Nothing. The glow was gone
- Why? co .. how? I do not understand .. it
- Koki ...
- What?
- Koki gave me the keys. He wanted to come. He was worried. We were worried. I took the liberty to come to his place
The surprise gave way to disbelief
- Why?
- ... ..
- I .. I understand nothing
- Kame
- NO!
Agitation
Cover flying over a bed
The other sank into the mattress
Wounded
- ; How can you be there. It is not possible
- ....
- I ... I have ... WHY?
Tears. He cried
My god, what had he done? What
he had done?
He wanted to hug
He wanted his sentence Embracer
He wanted to kiss her short
But he could not
Not
- Kame. Calm down. Please do
- What I calm down. I am calm. But ...
- Please do
... ...
- Please do
it calms
But he could not
It was there he was
there in front of him, reminding him ... He's
recalling his act
My god, what had he done?
What he had done?
How could he do that to her, to him.
- Kame. I want you listen to what I have to say. And I want you listen carefully
- ... I
- more lies. More masks. Just the truth. Just you and me
Just you and me That look
He had never seen. If on, so warm, so worried
For him?
This look was for him.
After what he had done.
After he had violated ...
... ..
This would not be easy
The other was lost. It's easy to listen but does he intend? Will his words were going to achieve? He had
He had to touch
He had to return
It was found that his eyes what they had lost
insurance, strength, certainty
Him He would return
itself
... ...
He had violated
Initially his anger had blinded. So
Then guilt had eaten away. Too
How could he do that?
Yes, he was injured
Yes, he suffered
But it was too
It
He wanted it so
Tears
- I'm sorry
Surprise again
But why? Why the other excuses?
Why this look?
The other was not ...
- I am sincerely sorry Kame
- You ... no ... you do not ..
- Shhh do not interrupt me, please do
again this look
Heat
Tenderness
Why?
- I'm sorry for all
- ; ....
- Sorry to get you insulted. Sorry to have you harassed. Sorry to have you broken
... ..
He looked so surprised
What an idiot!
He took it all on him
Seeing that his own mistakes, forgetting his
Seeing that the violence of the act, blind to the rest. Blind to the pleasure he had given him, blind to the tenderness with which he could demonstrate
He would wake
He had to. He owed him. It was repair
Even if he were to receive only the anger
Although it was facing his hatred
He would wake
He wanted to see this glow This determination
This force
This life in his eyes
- You were right
- ....
- You were right I'm a scumbag. I've been for so long
A smile
- If you don ' had not acted that night, I would have stayed all my life. And I fled in my life. You were right ... and distorts both
- ....
- You were wrong because I never wanted to be fucked, kame
The pain passed in his eyes
Shame Guilt
- Not kame, I wanted to be saved and that's what you did
- What!
A body that relies on a wall
Need support
This would not be easy
- ; be free is I always wanted. I wanted to do as much as possible. I wanted to do impossible things. Whatever the consequences, it was my life. I do what I please, I'm free. It was what I thought. I thought I had what I wanted. But ... but I was wrong and you have shown me
Yes it was wrong. And so
his errors had affected the other. Too
He hoped that is not too late to repair
- For years I was convinced that this life I wanted
Courage
- But ... but I was running away from my life. Me veiling the face, fleeing my true desires, escaping what I wanted most to World
Yes what he wanted most in the world
True freedom True freedom with him
Him
- You
Shock
- Thou Kazuya
... ...
- Thou Kazuya
What he wanted most in the world ? Him?
He understood nothing
And her name
He had not heard from in the mouth. ... Since when?
... ..
The look on the other had the sad fact for a moment he knew why
- long time ago eh?
- Wh ... what?
- Kazuya ...
- ...
- The last ; time I have called you by your first name, last for ...
- Gokusen
;
A smile
- Yes
A murmur sweet
Another remember
All was not lost
- The last time effectively. I did more than called Kame Kamenashi or thereafter
Courage
It took courage
He would not back
More flight
Determination
A confession
- I've fled Kame. I fled because I felt like getting out of control
- ....
- The desire I had of you scared me. So I fled my emotions. I put some distance between us. Then the distance turned into wall. A wall that put me away, away from the desires of you. But a wall ... a wall that was closing in on me.
Yes cage
He wanted to be free and he had But creating a cage
He was imprisoned for cowardice
- I & rsquo t ; Kame have fled, I fled my feelings. I was a coward, you were right. But that does not date from 4 months
He felt relieved
It was far from finished, having confessed everything
But the weight that weighed a lot less,.
... ...
"I have fled Kame" It was incomprehensible
Since that time
How does could he see anything?
- THE was why?
- ....
- You've crossed my sake?
... ...
He listened, he reacted
The light was always not returned
But it was a start
- Yes and no
- Yes and no?
- Not because I have not decided leaving to run away directly. Yes because I wanted to create other desires to not wanting you.
- I do not understand
- Drill in the U.S. .... I am convinced that this was what I wanted, what I really wanted. The project was so large that would have been enough to make you disappear.
- ....
- I am free to choose to do what I want. I am convinced that the U.S. was what I wanted most. I created a trick to avoid having to deal, not having to you cope
- I .. For ... pourq
- Fear
- ....
- Yes I was simply afraid. I was terrified. You said it yourself
All because you're too cowardly to take your own desires
You're the pathetic Jin
- You were right. I was the worst cowards. And cowardice, I hurt
- ....
- I have no excuse Kame. If this is the fear
Silence
... ..
Silence
Not really, he did not understand
In fact, it understand it and even as he understood nothing
Tears
All this time
He had taken out her life without any explanation
He found himself facing a wall of coldness, not knowing what a mistake he had made or what it could do to fix things. He had felt so alone
silence, coldness, that's all it took for all these years
He was convinced that it did not importance. The other was nothing. He hid his pain behind a mask of indifference
But ... But he had watched every moment, every gesture, every one of her smiles
He had hoped . Not even a gesture, a smile. For him. In vain
All for it
But that did not explain why ...
- Why this attitude?
- Mmm?
- Why these 4 months?
... ...
- Why 4 months?
He thought he saw a sparkle in her eyes
- It will not please you
- Jin
Her name
The glare grew louder
- I want to know
- ....
- Why?
- I've ... I've hated you when we have announced that
- ; hai?
Her voice trembled a little
- I always leaked. I had let myself eat out of fear for so many years
- ... ..
- But you . You, you were there, proud, sure of yourself. You assume your desires. You assume what you want and what you wanted to be. Your gaze was so shit ... you were there before me. You were what I wanted to be. So. But I was not ...
... ..
His voice had gone, never to be a whisper
But he had heard he had been mistaken
He had thought commonplace than the other did not fulfill his desires for a man
But it was more than รง ; has
He was angry because he assumed the
- you hurt me because I assumed that I you did not assume that you?
- I've hurt you because you had the strength and also ... yes
- ....
- And also because you make me feel. You know I did things I never wanted to feel. And then ...
- And then?
... ...
Eclipse
Courage
- I & hellip and I wanted you. I wanted you so much and since .... and so long
- ....
- Only ... I could not have you
breathing
A broken voice
;
- No, I could not get you. I wanted the freedom that you had chosen. I wanted to take those desires. I wanted to take with you
A statement
So high
- I wanted to be free with you
- Jin
Even her name
- ; I wanted to be free with you. So. But the fear. ... I fear I tugged. I was too cowardly
Finally he said
His admission
His truth
Silence still
Tears still
Then
His voice
- I felt so bad these last 4 months
His eyes had turned when he said that
The glow was still absent
But this outburst ....
- I felt so humiliated. I do not understand why it affected me much.
- Kame. I
...- I was not ashamed of me. I'd say, do you meet with them but you homophobic crap. Yeah, the bullshit because you live not for them. The opinion of the company had no right-thinking your problem
Vif
Corrosive
Finally
Him?
- But there was you.
- ....
- We had been together so long. We had understood for so many years. It was you. I .. it eat me ...
He was still crying
The chip fadait
Shit
- I did not want it overtake me but it affected me. It was you. And ... and anger .. that day .. my anger ...
Despair
- I ... I should have never done what I did. I never thought I'd make it. To you. My god to thee. You know ....
- Ka ....
- NO. Stop it with your eyes. Stop with your Kame
tears. Shouts
So very
- I have VIOLATED. GOOD BLOOD
... ...
He said
My god, he felt that the pain would never leave
The other was perhaps its twist
He should not be too loose
He should not abandon
He would not ... he did not know
But he had violated
And that nothing could erase
Nothing could justify
Nothing could justify such violence
... ...
- Kame. I beg
He was not listening
He saw sitting on her bed crying. Low. He was so strong yet
He had a burst of anger
He had reactions but not those he expected
The glow, determination, life n & rsquo , were not returned
Not
He had not heard
He had been told he had saved
He had locked himself in guilt. He saw nothing else. He even the impression that he forgave all
was his punishment
He had done so much harm. 4 months of harassment. One can not remain free, so strong is that
He had to leave his sentence. It should reach
Since no one wanted to hear, it would make him understand
He wanted to find what it costs
He approached the bed
Stepping
Determination
- Well, well, we are far from Kame I know
Two Steps
A shock
He knew from the outset that it would not be easy
confession alone is not sufficient to repair
No, it was also re counter it. He knew he had broken. What saw today had only confirm
The kame he saw there was not the true Volcanic
. Funny. Fort. Free
was how he was. It was like that he should be
how he was the ....
- Ah! thou hast violated. I am not aware
It was almost reached its destination
Provocation
The other looked up
He looked at his eyes reddened with tears, a little shocked ;
smile
had to play tight. He did not want to hurt him more
He wanted to wake
And he would do
He would awaken the beast
Ifseemed to have forgiven he knew that this was not
should face the consequences
Yes Yes he would face
And it would be enjoyable
smiling
- You're deluded I think
He stumbled against the bed
He dominated
The gaze of the other seemed less lost, harder He went back
He raised his face
- And you treated me burnet ?
His hazel eyes became darker
It was coming
He did not like being laughed at him
It came, it came
He SHUT ; tee cry
A breath
Approximation
- Goes down burnet
The eyes became darker
A little
He did not like him is played
Come
- Nicolas is right in front of you
A small glow finally
- Fuck Akanishi
Corrosive
Him
A smile
- With pleasure
... ... ..
A follow
This part killed me. I'm too winnowed, fiouuuuuuu
The next part will be the last. It will be lighter.
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